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Perfect world building story100/10
This is amazing. Ya it jumps around a bit, but the story is pretty good. Peak.
I hope posting full stories on yiffer without any sex gets normalized here at some point XD
Review - Hajime no Nico is pretty damn good. I do have some feedback on the story, and I might be a bit harsher in my feedback than I would with other comics because this isn't part porn, part story, it's all story and I'll review it as such. My first critique is that I wish we had seen more of Manu's spiral downwards. We get told he quickly spiraled and then we cut to their last encounter with each other.
Replying to OwO
My second critique is that it feels like we're jumping around the timeline a lot, to where it kind of gets difficult to gauge exactly where we are. First it's him coming home after a bad fight, then we jump back to their shenanigans as kids and their parents getting married, then we have a quick montage forward to their last encounter with each other, then we jump way back forward to what I think is the present with him going back to his coach and asking for training.
Replying to OwO
Then we fast forward a bit to his championship rematch and an easy victory, then we jump backwards again to him finding out Manu was dead, then we jump back forwards again to the present immediately after his win. The story itself is great, but I wish it was presented in an easier to comprehend way and that we could see more of it as it pertains to Manu's downwards spiral. Overall, 6.5-7/10, it's a great story but it feels held back by its presentation to me.
There is no porn here. Just a wonderful story. And honestly I like it.
I'm not crying, your crying 😭
Replying to soy1furry
NO SSSSHHHHH YOR CRYING😭😭😭😭😭
Dude. I thought this site was just porn comics... Did NOT expect to see some genuine gold here. 9/10, I agree with some of the other comments; it does jump around bit but its genuinely peak.